The Lonely Bennet
by x-forbiddenrose-x
Summary: Mary Bennet didn't want to be alone forever, but that may just be how it will end. Based off the 2005 movie version of Pride and Prejudice. CHAPTER 5 NOW UP!
1. No, Mary

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pride and Prejudice.**

A/N: I don't really know how old Mary, so her age is a guesstimate. I know this chapter is really short, but they will get longer.

**Chapter One**

**No, Mary**

Waiting with my mother and other sisters behind the dining-room door, I hear Lizzie refuse Mr. Collins' proposal of marriage. I heave a sigh of relief. Surely Mr. Collins will seek me out. I may be plain and a bit reclusive, but he had said that he wished to select a wife from his five cousins. Surely Mr. Collins would have no interest in overly coquettish girls like Kitty and Lydia, and I heard Mother state that he could not have Jane due to her near engagement to Mr. Bingley. I am the only one left.

I know that Mr. Collins didn't seem appealing to either of my other sisters, but he is quite appealing to me. Despite what others might think, I do not wish to be alone all of my life. When I first heard Mr. Collins was a clergyman, I was overjoyed. Surely he would love to talk of philosophy and such topics. I have been waiting for a man like this. Mr. Collins bored all of my family to extremes with the sermons he read the first evening of his stay, except me. In fact, the sermons quite delighted me.

Mother flings the doors open, and Lizzie storms out the back door. "Such a foolish, headstrong girl!" she mutters before reassuring Mr. Collins that she shall go talk some sense into Lizzie. Jane, Lydia, and Kitty run off to go attend other things, and Mr. Collins and I are the only ones left in the breakfast room.

He is about to leave, but stops at the sound of my voice. "Mr. Collins…" I murmur.

"Hello, Mary," he says grimly, turning around.

"Mr. Collins," I begin timidly, "do you still desire to select a wife from our family."

"I did, but all hope of that seems lost. But Mary, I cannot leave the county without a bride! Lady Catherine will be so upset."

"Well…"

"I need to find another girl in the county…"

"…if I'm not being too forward…"

"…who is like your sister…"

"…I love you!"

Mr. Collins looks at me, quite surprised, so I repeat, "I love you!"

"Mary, surely you cannot be serious."

"I assure you that I am quite serious." After my brief Lizzie moment, I have an unfortunate Kitty moment. "Those sermons you read to us, I found them enrapturing."

"You are two young, Mary. You're only seventeen, still a child."

"But I have the mind of a woman!"

"I doubt that." Mr. Collins donned his signature black hat and tried to leave. In a moment of desperation I did something terribly, terribly forward and unvirginal. I flung myself upon the man and planted a passionate kiss on his lips. When the kiss was over, Mr. Collins pulled back. "No, Mary."

A/N: So, what do you all think? Please R&R!


	2. Collins, Lucas, and Pianofortes

Disclaimer: I do not own P&P. 

A/N: The hiatus is officially over!

Thanks for all the great reviews!

**Chapter Two**

**Collins, Lucas, and Pianofortes**

I sit at the pianoforte, running my hands over the ivory and ebony keys. I do not play any piece. Well, I do not play any published piece. Whatever key my finger is drawn to is the one I play. And so the long melody that is eventually composed is just that of what is going on beneath the surface of my skin. What my mind is saying, what my heart is saying.

My mother bursts into the dining room, all in a tizzy and cries, "I do not know why I married your father! He went and took Lizzie's side, and now, thanks to their foolish ruling, Lizzie has turned down a perfectly good proposal!" I thank God for my sister's stubbornness. She wouldn't marry Mr. Collins if she were paid. I know that Collins may still love her, but to whom might he turn in his sorrow? Me. I'm more than ready to be a shoulder for him to cry on. Once he's over Lizzie, he'll be more than happy to have me. It's a foolproof plan.

Lizzie enters through the door, a triumphant smile on her face. She looks as if she might have been crying, but now she is feeling quite good. Mother, pretending to loose all of her energy, collapses in the nearest chair (although she almost misses it), and feigns a swoon.

"Mary, dearest, please, help me up to my bed," she whimpers. "I feel ill." I grumble under my breath and allow my mother to nearly crush me as I "help" her up the stairs. Sometimes I feel as if I ought to be more brazen, but then again, I do not wish to be noticed. I'm content with being the person who makes the music that underscores my family's daily life.

As soon as we're out of Lizzie's sight, Mother springs back to life.

"Ungrateful girl," she rants. "If Mr. Bennet had any sense he would give that girl a good switching when she acted like this." I groan at the prospect of having to listen to my mother's rants. Thankfully, Kitty and Lydia come running in.

"Mother, are you all right?" Lydia asks, genuinely concerned.

"You practically fainted in the kitchen!" Kitty exclaims, also genuinely concerned. I want to laugh. I couldn't believe that they could be so flippant as to not see straight through Mother's not so clever ruses. As they sit by Mother, lending her their eager ears, I slip away.

I descend the stairs and eager to return to my beloved pianoforte and dream about my beloved. Lizzie and Jane sit talking in the dining room.

"Charlotte went and got herself engaged to Mr. Collins," Lizzie says solemnly. I stumble, nearly twisting my ankle. No. It's not true.

"You can't possibly be jealous," Jane replies.

"No, but Charlotte doesn't love him. She says that he's offered her security, and that in a year she'll be an old spinster."

I do not want to hear any more. Lizzie and Jane block the path to my pianoforte, so I run past them and out the back door. My hands clutch my skirts and lift them up ever so slightly to prevent myself from tripping, but my blind is blank. All I know is that this running feels so good. I feel free. Letting out a squeal of glee, I fall back onto the soft grass. I forget all about Mr. Collins and Charlotte Lucas for a few moments. My chortles fill the air of the somewhat silent countryside. Am I mad? No. Sometimes, human beings just need to let all their troubles go and laugh. Truly laugh. There's an old superstition that laughing makes you healthier. At this moment, I believe in it one hundred percent.

"Miss Bennet?" My pleasant moment is cut short by the sound of Mr. Collins' voice.

"Yes?" I ask, a little annoyed at the loss of my beautiful moment, but I believe that I love Mr. Collins, so I brush away my irritation.

"What are you doing? You are all dirty." I pull myself up.

"I'm doing nothing, Mr. Collins." I start walking toward the house. Mr. Collins walks with me. I can't keep myself from asking the dreaded question, "Are you really going to marry Charlotte Lucas?"

"Who told you?" Mr. Collins asks, alarmed.

"I overheard Lizzie telling Jane…"

"Eavesdropping is wrong, Mary."

"I know… But that doesn't answer my question. Are you going to marry her?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"It is not right for you to pry." I stamp my foot, feeling anger boiling up inside me.

"Is everything I do wrong in your eyes?"

"I never-"

"But you meant it!" My fury reaches its peak, and I snap, "Lying is wrong, Mr. Collins." I stomp away. When I reach the house, I run up to my room and start crying.

XXX

Charlotte and Mr. Collins' wedding is an intimate affair. Not much hullabaloo is made over the wedding of this plain, country girl to Mr. Collins. She doesn't deserve him. The priest pronounces the two man and wife. I do not wish to stay any longer, but I must. Mother insists that it is the only polite thing to do. When I run to Father, he says the same thing, only in his sort of way.

He says, "Just stay, Mary. I'm sure that you'll have some fun." Fun? Watching the love of my life revel in his happiness with another woman? This will be the most fun night of my life!

I enter the reception for the newlyweds, and become entranced with the piano sitting on the other side of the room. I know that I probably shouldn't resist the need to sit down and play, but, quite frankly, I do not really care. I fly over to the pianoforte, and seat myself at the bench. What, though, should I play? Suddenly, I remember a piece that I had memorized for the Bingleys' ball not so long ago. Father had made me stop before I could finish it. I wonder whether I can still execute it well. As my fingers slide from key to key, I rejoice in the fact that I do indeed remember the song. Just as I begin to loose myself in it, a hand taps me on the shoulder. I turn around to see a man looking down at me.

"Excuse me, miss, but the newlyweds are coming, and I must play the march to announce them," he says politely.

"All right," I scowl, reluctantly leaving the piano bench.

He continues, "Maybe later you could play something for us."

"No, thank you," I reply, walking away.

Mr. and Mrs. Collins are announced, and I force a fake smile onto my face. The new Mrs. Collins immediately runs over to Lizzie and starts chattering with her. My hands ball up into fists, and I walk away just so that I don't hurt someone or do something that I'll regret later.

The man from the pianoforte gets up, walks over to me, and asks, "Do you want to play now, or would you rather dance?"

"Neither," I glower.

"Come on, a pretty young lady like you must enjoy dancing."

"Then I am sure that you are mistaken." Without even giving him a chance to reply, I storm away. Why do people fear the need to interfere with me when I'm in a bad mood? I situate myself in a chair the corner until the celebration is over with.

A/N: I just want to let you all know that this will not not NOT be a cliché romance fic. At some times it may seem like a cliché romance, but I trust you that it is not.

Please R&R!


	3. Lessons

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pride and Prejudice or Cosi Fan Tutte.**

A/N: Sorry that I took forever to update, but, as I said in my profile, my computer broke down.

Please R&R!

**Chapter Three**

**Lessons**

"Mary, stop playing that God-forsaken instrument!" Mother shouts from the parlor, where she is recovering from another "illness" brought on by a disagreement with Father. I groan and let my fingers slip off the keys. As usual, my music had underscored the daily activities until someone realized that there they were actually hearing music and told me to cease it.

Father, who has wondered down the stairs so that he might seek some peace in the library, comments, "Maybe, Mrs. Bennet, you would enjoy Mary's playing a bit more if she had lessons." I sighed. Pianoforte lessons would be wonderful.

"I would abhor it all the more!" she cries in reply. "I got lessons for Jane and Lizzie, and I couldn't have despised the whole process of having some strange person who I do not know come into my house to educate my children. Besides, Mary has taught herself everything that she knows. She can continue to teach herself."

"She won't learn everything possible without a proper tutor."

"Well, than either Jane or Lizzie could teach her."

"Mary is already more advanced than them at the pianoforte."

"Then she doesn't need to learn anything more."

I notice Lizzie, who has been sitting in her own corner of the parlor. She smiles at me, for she knows how much I would love pianoforte lessons, and says, "Mother, many men value women who play music. If Mary should excel at the pianoforte, she shall have a better chance at catching a husband." A better chance at catching at catching a husband… I had never thought that Mr. Collins might enjoy my pianoforte playing! Perhaps I had a chance of getting him to leave Charlotte Lucas yet.

"A husband!" Mother cried, absolutely ecstatic. "Why hadn't I thought of that before? Lady Catherine has said many times that she enjoys music, and surely she might favor our little Mary should she become an accomplished pianist." I let out a cry of delight, forgetting that neither of my parents knew that I had overheard the entire conversation.

My mother said, walking out of the parlor toward me, "Mary, is that you? Eavesdropping is very unladylike."

_Hypocrite_, I think, _you eavesdrop all of the time_. I wish that I could say that out loud, but I do not want to ruin my chances of getting a tutor. I merely bow my head and murmur something to the effect of, "I am so sorry, mother", and wander away.

A week later, a rather plump woman in a flamboyant orange dress comes knocking on our door. Surprisingly, she doesn't have a cloak or even a shawl in this brisk weather that we have been having. She is my pianoforte teacher. When I first see her, I am shocked. I had been expecting to see a mousy spinster in drab gray garb walk through the door. Do not ask me why I wrongly came up with that assumption.

"Miss Perry, I presume?" Mother asks, with the utmost civility. Such shows she puts on for company!"

"Yes." Miss Perry turns to me and says, "And you must be Mary!" Her greeting is so warm, as if she has known me all of her life. "How do you do?" She extends her hand to me.

I shake hands with her and reply, "I am fine, thank you. How are you?"

"Wonderful, darling." She looked around the foyer. "Now, where might I find the pianoforte?"

"It's in the dining room." I lead her through the two heavy doors, leaving my mother behind to go have a hissy fit or whatever she cares to do.

"You keep the pianoforte in the dining room!" Miss Perry exclaims. "Well, I do hope that no one has spilled anything on it."

"I guard this pianoforte with my life."

"As it should be." Miss Perry sits herself down on the bench and beckons me to join her. "Now, do you know the first thing about playing piano?"

"Well, I can play a bit, but everything I know I taught myself," I reply.

Miss Perry sifts through the various books on the music stand until she finds one. She reads the title, " 'Pianoforte selections from Mozart's Cosi Fan Tutte'." Opening the book in front of me she says, "Here, play this."It is a pianoforte version of Despina's aria, "_In uomini, in soldati, sperare fedeltá?_" I place my fingers on the keys and begin to play. Most of it goes well, but in the middle of the piece, my fingers .

"Well," Miss Perry says once I am finished, "I am quite impressed, seeing that you taught yourself to play. Your form, though, leaves a much to be desired. Form is the most basic thing to know when playing the pianoforte. Sit up straight." I obey. "There, now arch your fingers as much as you can." Once again, I obey. "Now play it again." My fingers start moving again, and I can't help but be amazed how much improvement just positioning myself in the right way can make.

The rest of the lesson goes well, and Miss Perry will come back in one week's time to continue my training.

When we bid Miss Perry farewell, I smile. Really smile, as I haven't since that day that I just let loose all of my bounds and went running around the grounds. I believe that in Miss Perry, I have found a true friend. She is so kind and understanding.

"Well, I've never met such more boisterous woman in my entire life," Mother huffs.

"She is one of the sweetest people, though," Jane remarks. She had seen a bit of the lesson.

"And she is most wonderful on the pianoforte," I say brazenly. A girl most certainly has a right to friends, and, as of now, Miss Perry is my best friend.

A/N: The title of Despina's aria, in English, is "In men, in soldiers, you hope for faithfulness?"


	4. Of Visits

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pride and Prejudice.**

A/N: Please R&R!

**Chapter Four**

**Of Visits**

The friendship that Adamina (that is Miss Perry, for she insisted that I call her by her Christian name) and I share has grown and became as strong as Hercules. I was never one to do too much talking, but Adamina has brought out a friendly side of me that I never would have thought that I had. About fifteen minutes of each lesson is devoted to idle chatting while Adamina tunes the pianoforte and plays a few pieces. Through of little talks, I learned that Adamina isn't too much older than I, only about five years. She is the only female in a house of men, for her mother died giving birth to the youngest of her five brothers.

"All of my brothers," she said, "gave me a few unfeminine tendencies in my youth. At the boarding school where I was sent to, I drove all of my teachers half mad with my boyish habits." This brought out another rare side of me, for I laughed.

Now Adamina and I are in the middle of a lesson, and Lizzie bursts through the door.

"Charlotte has invited me to come stay with her," she exclaims. For a moment, I feel happy for my sister, for she hasn't seen her best friend since… since the wedding. My heart begins to ache for Mr. Collins. Adamina has succeeded in occupying my mind and keeping it from Mr. Collins, but the very mention of his _wife_ hurls me back into grief again.

Lizzie looks like a giddy child. I don't want to spoil her happy moment, so I force my lips to twitch upward. She runs out to go ask Father and Mother's permission.

Adamina says, "Now that that little interruption is over, why don't we get on with our lesson?"

"Yes," I murmur, hoping that the music will block all melancholy thoughts from my head. For the rest of the lesson, though, I am distracted, and my fingers carelessly slip from key to key.

"Concentrate!" Adamina cries. It takes a lot to make her frustrated, so I know that I must be doing awful. "There is something wrong, isn't there?"

"There's nothing wrong." Of course, I knew that I didn't sound the least bit convincing.

"Come on, you can tell me." After a moment of hesitation, I lean in and whisper my painful secret into her ear. "What are you wanting with men, Mary? You're only seventeen! I'm in my early mid-twenties and I am not thinking much about husbands yet. There have been a few dandies who've hurt me, but the wound heals quickly."

"And yet there will still be a scar."

"If you want to mope around, feeling sorry for yourself, Mary Bennet, be my guest. As for me, there are wonderful times to be had. I'll be back in one week, and by then I hope that you'll be in a better mood." Adamina gathered up her cloak and left me sitting alone in the dining room. I want to run after her and try to convince her to not to leave, but I clutch the edges of the pianoforte bench. Last time I ran after someone who I loved, I ended up burned. Now, I feel truly alone, without my best friend to bring out the brighter side of me that I so enjoy showing. Adamina has become fed up with me.

Kitty and Lydia's annoying laughter fills my ears. They've woven little wildflowers into their brown tresses, probably playing some foolish game of make believe.

"Hello, Mary!" Lydia cries.

"The officers are in town!" Kitty shouts. The crazy twits… One day they're bound to get themselves hurt, physically, not emotionally like myself.

"And why are you telling me this?" I snap. The two girls turn away for a few moments and whisper. They opt to go away from the "sourpuss" who will spoil their fun. Sourpuss. That is the perfect word to describe me. I am such a sourpuss.

A flash of light catches on the mirror and causes it to illuminate. Suddenly, an idea comes to me. I walk over and gaze into the glass. My fingers pull the pins out of my messy hair, causing it to cascade down to my shoulders like a waterfall. I make a clumsy attempt to fix it up in the latest style, but it is an improvement. My face scrunches up as I pinch my cheeks a bit to give them some more color. Now I look into the mirror and smile.

"Hello," I say in the sweetest tone that I can manage. Would a man be more pleased with me now? More importantly, would this new Mary attract Mr. Collins' attentions away from his wife? Most certainly she would. From here on I pledge to put some effort into making myself attractive.

* * *

"Well, you look better today, Mary," Adamina exclaims as she walks into the room. It has been one week since our little incident, and I can honestly say that I feel better. Once when I was in town this past week, a group of about half a dozen soldiers turned around and looked at me like I was a goddess. Of course, soldiers are far below my beloved Mr. Collins, but it is most definitely a start.

"Thank you."

Adamina continues, "And that's why I want you to be my guest at a dinner party next Thursday evening. Jonas, my coachman, will pick you up, and my aunt will prove to be an excellent chaperone."

Mother cries, "A dinner party!" I hadn't realized her passing by the dining room. She bustles up to me. "Wouldn't that be wonderful, Mary?" I can sense the warning under her alarmingly huge smile.

"I'd be delighted," I say with a perfect upper class flair. Adamina can't restrain a laugh at my slight overacting.

"Then I shall see you on Thursday." Adamina gathers herself and prepares to leave. Mother shows her to the door.

"Until Thursday," I call after her.

A/N: Sorry for the semi-cliffhanger, but I really wanted to get up another update.


	5. The Dinner Party Part One

**Disclaimer: I do not own it.**

A/N: I'm so sorry for the long wait, but there have been about a million things going on in my life right now.

* * *

**Chapter Five**

**The Dinner Party**

Kitty and Lydia run about the bedroom, looking through my plain frocks, trying to find something "suitable" for me to wear tonight. I really don't have much, considering that I rarely enjoy going to social events. In fact, I wouldn't be attending tonight's event if it hadn't been for both Adamina and Mother's insistence. From my wardrobe they produce the white gown that I wore to the ball Mr. Bingley and his sister held not too long ago.

"Oo!" Lydia squeals. "Isn't it just divine?" Kitty pulls me up from where I am stationed on the bed and marches me to the full-length mirror. Lydia holds the dress up in front of me. When I see my reflection in the mirror, I see the girl, no woman, that I had once tried to produce. Somehow, tonight I look different than I did the night of Bingley's ball. I have changed since then. I have morphed into a woman, no longer the timid, plain girl who pounded away on the pianoforte all day long. In my reflection I see the woman that Mr. Collins might desire. All of a sudden, I am almost as giddy as my sisters, diving into my wardrobe and trying to find a dress that might heighten my beauty. Kitty and Lydia seem delighted by my sudden change in mood. They revel in finding someone just as flippant as themselves to join in their fun. After going through several different gowns, we returned to the white one and declared it perfect. Kitty and Lydia fool about with my hair- letting it down, putting it up, inserting this pin into it, then deciding that that pin would look better with the color of my hair, and the like. I smiled devilishly into the mirror and wished that Mr. Collins was going to be present at the dinner party tonight.

When I descend the stairs, I see that Adamina is standing in the foyer, having just been admitted into the house.

"Mary," she exclaims upon seeing me, "how well you look! I am so glad to see you in such high spirits. Pray, what has made you so cheerful?"

While I may look a fashionable young woman, I cannot give myself airs and speak elegantly like them. I reply, with a laugh, "Mother let Kitty and Lydia loose on me. I believe that some of their silliness has rubbed off on me."

"Well, if their silliness will keep you in such spirits, then I am forever in their debt. But hurry, my coachman has proved in far worse spirits than you tonight and he shall not wait very long for us." I grab my cloak and follow Adamina out the door. There an open-air carriage is waiting for us, and a footman helps us each in. As the carriage drives off, Mother comes running out onto the portico, flustered because she never knew that I was leaving. She waves her handkerchief and shouts something to me, but I cannot hear it, nor do I care to. It is probably just a last minute reminder of proper conduct, which I don't think will matter much. After all, Adamina certainly doesn't form to Mother's idea of a proper woman, so why should her family care too much for "proper conduct"?

"Cook has prepared a splendid meal for us," Adamina declares, "and Mama has had her set out her best port wine, as well as her famous ratafia."

"Ratafia?" I echo. The word is foreign to me.

"Haven't you ever been to a ball where ratafia was served?" Adamina seems a bit shocked that I've never tried it. "It's quite a popular drink."

I admit, "I've only ever been to one ball in my life, the Bingley's ball, and they never served any of this 'ratafia' there."

"Then you simply must try Cook's ratafia tonight! It's a sweet drink that's flavored with fruit kernels and cherry and currant juices. It's such a refreshing drink, especially as the weather gets warmer, as it is this time of year."

"Mmm…" I murmur, for I can almost taste the sweet fruits and berries on my tongue.

" 'Mmm…' indeed! I promise you that you won't be disappointed in it."

The Perrys' household is in Luton, a shire that rests north of Hertfordshire, so the ride is proving a bit longer than I am used to. Adamina keeps me amused, though, from talk of the technically best way to the play the pianoforte to her witty and comical views on all of the prominent people in the shire, such as the Bingleys. They are a bit harsh, but definitely true. While there was no one around to hear, I laugh freely at them.

Finally, the carriage pulls up in front of a grand house. When you drive up, the first thing that strikes you about the manor house is it's sheer size. Two of the house in which I reside now could fit in the Perry mansion with room to spare. It is made in the height of fashion, with a balcony on the second floor with flowers hanging from it like the fabled Hanging Gardens of Babylon, and a grand marble façade.

Adamina laughs at my slightly dazed expression, "You are not the first to be like that."

"If you live in such a grand place," I question, "then why do you give piano lessons?"

"Women should learn to do some work, so that they don't always have to be dependent on their husbands and male relations. Gentry women ought to know how to do some kind of work besides embroidery." I smile, surprised that I had not thought of this explanation earlier. Adamina's beliefs that women were equal, if not superior, to men are one of the things that I love most about her. Her radical ideas have so much sense, although most people (especially the men, which is no shock) brush them off like they would a fly.

A footman extends his hand to me and helps me out of the carriage, and then does the same for Adamina. Once she is down from the carriage, Adamina links arms with me.

"Don't be worried about impressing my family," she advises. "I've already told them all about you, and they think that you are the most wonderful girl without having even met you!"

"We shall see," I reply, feeling a bit of nervousness rise up in my breast. Suddenly, I wonder what she has said of me. Has she proclaimed me to be pretty? Witty? Any of the characteristics of a good woman? Oh, I am none of those things. Adamina has given them means to have high expectations of me, expectations that I highly doubt I can fulfill. Now I look upon this grand house with dread.

"Are you coming, Mary?" I realize that Adamina is already halfway up the steps that lead to the front door. There's no turning back now, so I might as well dive in headfirst.

"Here I come," I call, running up and joining Adamina on the steps. Before either of us can knock on the door, a manservant dressed in regal livery opens it for us, revealing a foyer just as lavish as the mansion's façade. I quickly run my hands down my skirt to smooth out any wrinkles and step inside. It comes as a big shock to me to see all of Adamina's family lined up in the parlor waiting for our arrival. That is certainly not according to custom.

Adamina steps up to them and introduces me to everyone. "Mary, this is my father, my mother, my sisters Caitlin, Lenore, and Miriam, and my brothers Donald, Spencer, and James. My dear family, this is Mary Bennet." Yet another shock comes around. I recognize James as the pianist from Mr. Collins and Charlotte Lucas' wedding. He looks at me oddly before smiling. My cheeks flush red. He recognizes me too.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the long wait again and the semi-cliffhanger. I planned for this chapter to be longer, but I figured that I ought to simply upload this and then put in the second installment later. Please R&R! 


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